Blaze forth the death of princes
by ChipsPlease
Summary: He receives no funeral besides the whisper of the curtains and a ghost of a smile, but that's all he needs. That's all he needs. Six times Sirius Black lives and one time he dies.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor do I own the title which I once again stole shamelessly from Shakespeare.**

* * *

B l a z e _**forth**__ the _**death** _of _p r i n c e s

**i.**

Aunt Elladora dead appears no different than from when she was alive; her characteristic scowl still gracing her face and her arms crossed tightly over her chest. It's an ambiguity Sirius doesn't quite care for. _'Died in her sleep, as peaceful as can be, the poor old thing' _a relative whispers to his mum, _'she was alone for ever so long, with just the house-elf to take care of her. 'Course the elf got a nasty shock when he found out that Elladora really wasn't going to wake up, but at her age it was bound to be expected at some point…'_ His mum twitters in agreement, and Sirius taps his foot impatiently on the floor as he slouches further into his chair. A brief glare from his mum gets him to sit upright again, but he thinks that it certainly isn't his fault if the entire funeral is rather boring.

"So when I die, Reggie," Sirius says, while his parents talk to his Aunt Druella after the funeral, "I don't want any of this long-term nap nonsense. I want to go down in a blaze, you know, the whole smoke and fire, full out explosions, duel to the death kind of deal. I want to be so alive before I die, that when I do kick the bucket it'll shock people; I definitely don't want anybody going 'well it's about time' to my death. I want people to get really emotional at my funeral, for them to start getting really weepy or angry or hysterical as they recount my heroic deeds or something. Right, Reggie?"

"Well, I don't know, I think it would be kind of nice to die peacefully after a good long life…"

Regulus kicks a stone after replying to Sirius, and avoids looking him in the eye. But it doesn't matter, because cousin Bella in the corner smiles at Sirius as if she knows exactly what he's talking about.

_(and he isn't quite sure why, but this frightens him)_

**ii.**

At school, Sirius is wild and untamable and has had more relationships than the entire grade put together. All of them run along the same vein; passionate and crazy and never lasting more than a month. The girls leave brokenhearted and angry, cursing him and crying and it's the other Marauders job to clean the dirty pieces left behind.

"Why do you have to be so cruel to them?" Remus asks after a particularly nasty break-up, in which Sirius only narrowly missed being jinxed into celibacy.

"I don't know, I'm starting to think the girls are bringing it upon themselves. I mean they should know by now that Sirius isn't just going to stay with one girl forever, right? They're just deluding themselves; really, Sirius is going to be an eternal bachelor," James says, shaking his head and chuckling.

"You might be heading to eternal bachelorhood yourself as well, mate. I mean, how many times has Lily rejected you? A hundred, already?" Sirius replies, wiping the smile off of James' face.

But as James retorts to his comment, Sirius thinks that he really has it all wrong. The girls aren't deluding themselves; they know exactly what they're getting into when they start kissing him. Oh sure, they'll get upset and shout afterwards but that's part of the whole experience. They aren't looking for a soul-mate or potential husband in him; they're looking for someone who'll ignite a flame in them and make them feel so alive it'll hurt.

_(and for a short, brief while, he grants them just that_)

**iii.**

It's James that suggests that they join the Order, but its Sirius who throws himself full heartedly into it. He's the one who volunteers for the most dangerous and reckless missions, the one who flings himself into battle and curses any Death Eaters who have the misfortune to meet him with a wild grin on his face.

James, on the other hand, starts becoming more cautious and less inclined to the antics that marked his youth.

"I'm impressed, Prongs, you're almost starting to become a responsible adult! It's the whole marriage thing, isn't it?" Sirius jokes one time, after James declines his offer to go hit a pub after one of their missions.

James laughs, but then looks very intently upon Sirius.

"You know, I reckon you may also grow up one day, after you're done engaging in your rebellion against the world."

Sirius stares at James for a second, before he barks out a laugh.

"Rebellion against the world? What are you, a psychiatrist? I think you've been reading too many of Lily's weird books now, mate."

James smiles and says, "I suppose she is rubbing off on me, then. Well, see you later Padfoot, got a wife waiting for me at home and everything." And James claps his shoulder and dissaparates.

_(he goes to the pub alone that night and tries to shake off the feeling that he is being left very far behind)_

**iv.**

Marlene McKinnon is infuriating and mocking and very much desirable. She calls him 'Pretty Boy Black' and taunts him with her hips and the way she walks and the way she almost seems interested, but then is not. He finds himself both dreading working with her in missions and hoping for it beyond anything else.

It's after one of these missions that he kisses her. They've both missed being killed by only a hair, but they're laughing in relief because they're alive anyway and what's more, they've won. She's leaning against him, trying to support herself after her laughing fit, when he presses his lips against hers suddenly. She's surprised, he can tell that, but it doesn't matter because then she is kissing him back and Sirius thinks that maybe he is in love. Not in the marriage type way of Lily and James, but in something that might be just as permanent and far more real.

The next day, Mad-Eye Moody comes and announces to the Order that Marlene and the rest of her family were found dead that morning. For a moment, Sirius thinks that Moody is joking because Marlene was alive just yesterday, laughing and kissing him, so what happened? What the hell happened?

He goes to her funeral and doesn't say a word until after everyone else has left. Then he allows himself to rage at her grave, because _damnit_, it's just like her to leave him once he thinks that they might have something worthwhile going on.

_(but stone graves don't talk back, and he leaves feeling empty and numb)_

**v.**

It shames him, but when James and Lily die, at first Sirius can't help but feel vaguely ripped off at the world. It was him who was supposed to go down in a breathless blaze of glory, not James who was meant to get old with Lily by his side and a dozen or so grandchildren running around them- _and what about Harry? _James is- _no, was- _a father, and Sirius feels sick because how could James just go and get himself killed like that? It's all wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, and _oh god, he's going to hurl because the war wasn't supposed to end this way at all._

All over England wizards celebrate, but Sirius shakes and shakes and shakes and vows to kill Peter if it's the last thing he does. And he's not suicidal, at least _not really, _but he can't help but think that if he has to go it wouldn't be such a bad send-off if he left getting revenge for his best friend.

_(so when he's in the middle of the street with dead bodies all around him but none of them Peter, he can't help but laugh because he has an obnoxious knack for surviving, doesn't he?)_

**vi.**

Sirius sees Bellatrix once, and only once, while at Azkaban. It is when she is being taken in, and as she passes by his cell she smiles as if she always knew that he would wind up there someday_. _A fury enters Sirius and for a small moment, he would like nothing better than to curse his cousin into oblivion.

Distantly, the dementors stir because for that small moment Sirius _lives_.

_(but then Bellatrix is out of vision and he feels nothing once more_)

**vii.**

The Order tries to persuade Sirius to stay at Grimauld Place after they learn that Harry and some of his friends are in danger in the Department of Mysteries, but this is one time when Sirius refuses to listen to any of them. Something in him itches to join this battle, and however much he would like to convince himself otherwise, he knows that it has more to do than just the fact that Harry is in trouble.

Sirius doesn't believe in temperamental and unreliable (and well, far too much like himself) things like destiny, but when he sees Bellatrix he knows why he had to come here. And at a subconscious level he knows that this is finally his last hurrah, so he ducks and curses and taunts because he might as well make the most of it, right?

He's mid-laugh and all too much alive when her curse hits him, and maybe, just maybe, that's a fitting enough end for him.

_(he receives no funeral besides the whisper of the curtains and a ghost of a smile, but that's all he needs. that's all he needs.)_

* * *

**A/N: So I'm temporarily back into writing fanfiction for the summer. Unfortunately, I think I've gotten kind of rusty over my year long hibernation from it, and any constructive criticism on this piece would be much appreciated! Ah well, I still had fun writing this, even if I find Sirius a challenge to write. Anyway, read, review and enjoy! **


End file.
